Dearest readers, we find ourselves yet again discussing the ever-elusive Spirit of Tasmania project—Australia’s very own maritime soap opera even the Love Boat would envy. One might think that a grand new berth and a couple of flashy ferries would be a straightforward task to complete; alas, this is Australia, where no snag is ever too small to overlook, especially if it can escalate to a full-blown bungle.
Sailing into Strife, Again and Again
When the good folk at TT-Line first hatched this scheme more than a few years back, whispers of a modern fleet for the Bass Strait sent shivers of excitement through the hearts of Tasmanians. With $850 million originally earmarked, it seemed all but guaranteed that soon, our brave travellers would enjoy two state-of-the-art ferries built in the land of Santa Claus. Perhaps by his Finnish elves themselves!
Yet here we are, a few years later, with the budget bloating faster than a red kangaroo after a royal feed. We’re at the line of a billion, and still, Santa is holding the first completed red-and-white ship in Finland. Ah, yes—the Aussies call this a classic “blowout,” and one would be tempted to think that the project is indeed being run by a few too many galahs. But they will come, will they not? And then 40% more happy travellers and goodies will be carried across the fierce Bass Strait. Did you know that this route is also one of the most expensive sea routes in the world?
New Ships but No Full Throttle—They Didn’t Tell You That?
And so, dear reader, the latest instalment in this comedy of errors arrived recently with the revelation that these new ferries cannot even operate at full capacity due to some “infrastructure miscalculations.” Yes, despite all the shemozzle over the budget and the supposed state-of-the-art facilities, the new ships will need to hold back like a dingo on a leash. They will need to dock at the existing berth, which is too shallow and small to allow the beauties operate with full potential. And even then, they may accidentally make intimate acquaintance with the other large boys at port. Is it any wonder we’re all left scratching our heads, wondering just what those millions were meant to buy?
The new posh port facilities are still at dream stage, proving just tricky it is to build a new docking berth for such luxurious large vessels. Once promised to be a new jewel of Tasmania’s coastline, the pride of Devonport, this ambitious new berth has instead transformed into a never-ending money pit—and at this rate, the only thing reaching the heavens will be the budget. Currently postponed for a January 2026 debut, you’d have more luck finding a Tassie devil at the local servo than seeing this project complete on time.
Ah yes, the budget. Originally, the new berth was expected to cost a tidy sum. In 2020 the quote was $90 million. But as is tradition, things have ballooned to $375 million, leaving the taxpayers wondering if it wouldn’t have been cheaper to just build a new coastline... or perhaps a fancy bridge to connect Melbourne with Devonport! BridgePro, could you lend the lads a helping hand, and a brain?!
Just How Many Cooks Are Stirring This Pot?
Adding further spice to this bubbling stew of delays and overblown costs is the recent inquiry featuring one Mr. Mike Grainger, former TT-Line boss, who jumped shipped when the going got tough. Grainger delighted audiences with a spirited defence of the project’s management.
As far as he's concerned, the Tasmanian government and TasPorts, along with the government itself, are to blame for most of the mess as safety concerns had been swept under the rug and communication at its best was as if the deaf and blind were trying to find the same note. I dare say only down under could one try to make years delay and severalfold budget increase sound like a winning business venture.
Will We Ever See the Light at the End of the Channel?
So, with no launch date set in stone, the brave people of Tassie are left to wonder whether their new ferries will ever glide through the waters at full tilt. Perhaps the TT-Line hopes that if they wait long enough, everyone will just forget the many millions in taxpayers’ money that were tossed overboard in the process. After all, what’s a little mismanagement among mates, eh?
But rest assured, dear readers, I’ll keep you posted on this project’s progress as soon as the elves whisper in my ear that the first ship has left the land of the midnight sun and saunas or there is a sign of construction at the Devonport port—or lack thereof. Until then, keep your eyes on the horizon for the Spirit of Tasmania and its grand debut, which may or may not occur within the next decade.
Yours in awe and gift wrapping,
Lady Wombat
